If I will not blog like before I am going to burst now…! LOL This is height of promises that I am going to get broadband connection in coming week… Waiting for their “coming weekâ€, I did not even realize that year 2006 is also passed ! Today I am using the same my mobile modem connection. Anyways yesterday I was reading old joke book and found this joke --- Wife to her husband – "Dear, Come fast, my children & your children together are beating our children!!! " LOL and I thought this would be the scene of every house in coming years if people will not take the matter of “EX †seriously!
I am not making fun of anybody who has gone thru’ such situations called divorce. I know, nobody wants to break his/her own marriage or family. I don’t even claim that I can feel their pain exactly, though I have friends here online & I try understanding the pain of their broken relationships. So I will ONCE AGAIN try to discuss this issue of “divorce†with you all, without any intention of hurting anyone or making fun of anyone here, whether they are on my list or not. But as you know me, I like to keep issues light so I do joke about them, whether it is related to anybody, or me. So don’t mind my weird sense of humor! I have habit of finding fun out of everything…LOL
Here I want to confess that I do get surprised many times that the way folks discuss about their Ex & Ex of Ex…& Ex of Ex of Ex… I get confused and even shocked because I feel like those people feel very proud to announce that they are having lines of Ex in their life! Sometimes I feel they don’t even bother about the word divorce! One of my 360 friends who is not on my list now! Can I call him Ex-360 friend? Because I have started feeling very neglected personality here for NOT having ANY “EX†factor in my life…So I don’t want to have that “Ex -inferiority complex†LOLOLOL (Of course kidding!)
BTW, that Ex-360 friend is an American, very well educated & having decent job too. But at present cursing himself for his 2 or 4 years of marriage with his 2 years of girlfriend. Now because of her, he has become a bankrupt & he is paying loan installments of lawyer as well as sort of her alimony! For this he has to do even overtime also!! He has told me very shocking thing about American marriage scenario! He told that he would never marry in America again, where marriage is a kind of Business. If you are not married with equal status girl or boy means you have made a great mistake! Because almost everybody is GREEDY here and tries to get 50% money, home etc from the rich partner. Means if a boy is earning more than a girl then girl will take divorce to get his money & home too or vice versa. That’s why here percentage of divorce is more! I was shocked to know this! Till this up gradation of my knowledge about American weddings, I used to feel very bad about every divorce, but now I have started feeling that who knows what was the real reason behind those all divorces I heard here on 360? I know some must be very genuine cases but still I can’t forget those words of my friend now.
I think if this is going on in America since many years, then naturally the kids of broken marriages are used to witness all these things in their early life. This may be leading them to follow their parent’s footsteps and do the same in their life too! Their tolerance capacity will also be less than their parents & nobody will be surprised to see the list of “Ex†before their names too… who knows, in future it will become the prestigious sign…? Oh, oh, that’s why I have seen many blogs where guys talk very badly about their parents & partners. I used to feel bad & sometimes even hurt (? hurt uh? Yes!) that how can a child talk so badly about own parents? Is having respect for elders and especially parents an OUTDATED and Stupid thing in western culture? I know my blog may hurt many today; some may delete me from their list too but what I learned from one of my 360 friends, I wanted to share with you, so that I can get clear picture & truth about this topic.
I will not say that in my country divorces don’t happen, they do, but may be % of it will be less than western countries. Reasons will be 99% different than this! But I strongly feel that there are few BASIC points, which differentiate the things very prominently!
1. Cultural difference of East & West: Though our new generation is fast picking up western culture here still we have joint family culture as well as nuclear family culture, where our kids stay with parents till they finish their education, get job & get marry - generally after the age of 22 + years! Till this age, they grow up under guidance & supervision of parents. Here parents role is very very important of shaping their kids future & keeping them away from all sorts of bad things like drinking, smoking, drugs, womanizing etc!
2. Male Dominant Society: We still have male dominant society where people are least bothered about son’s mistakes. But if a girl commits any mistake (like having sex before marriage or eloping with a boy or even having love affair…!) the whole society take the notice of it and it becomes the issue of respect of family. But now days urban families are more open to these issues & accept the things without fuss. But this is also true that we have families in rural part of the country where girl’s family has killed the girl & boy both for having love affair! Here having love affair before marriage was / is (in some part of society / country) considered very bad & no less than a mistake / crime because since ages it is a question of prestige & honor of the family. This was / is an unwritten rule since ages that children of respectable families (specially girl) should accept the choice of parents as his / her life partner and once the girl gets marry, she should not leave her hubby’s place till death means NO divorce. Such girl is called most respectable & her family is called more respectable family here. So majority of marriages are still ARRANGED MARRIAGES. Where family of boy or girl find the suitable partner for their son / daughter. Before visiting each other’s place, the parents of both sides collect the details of each other’s families & bride & groom both. If they find it suitable then they visit each other’s place /home and if boy likes the girl by look of course then he will say yes and vice versa. If not, nobody take it in bad way & start finding other partner for their son or daughter, till the marriage gets “fixedâ€. Here few changes have happened in urban society, here educated families give freedom of choosing life partner to their children but marriages are still happening with the consent of elders of the family! BECAUSE in our society, we consider, “Marriage is an union not only between a boy & a girl but it is between two different families!†so getting consent of family for the marriage is equally important here.
3. Financial independence & attachment of kids: Here though girls are educated and talented but most of them prefer to stay at home & raise the family instead of going out and doing job. It is most common scene here! So even if she faces small small problems in her married life, she doesn’t think of divorce. Because she is not financially independent & being a full time mother, her attachment with her kids is more which also keeps her away from divorce! One more thing, here divorce word is still a bad word and re-marriage is little difficult. But again urban & upper class society is not having fuss about it. But I must tell here that I think tolerance & adjusting or compromising capacity of any Indian is much more than any western person irrespective of gender. Reasons may be many but this fact keeps hubby and wife together here. Indian man is a more family man & Indian woman is a more homely & sacrificing mother ! Here girls have been growing up looking at their mother, grandmother and other women of the family like aunty etc where one thing is common that they were always been treated as secondary after their father or grandfather or uncle etc…because our culture or our society is male dominant! Things have changed quite noticeable and you will find educated & urban family men are giving so much freedom to their women now! Earlier men used to take all major decisions of the family alone without even discussing it with their life partners, because if they had done that, others would have made joke of them and would have called them henpecked hubby too, which used to be a big insult for their manhood! LOL But now they discuss & even listen too to their life partners. Funny enough but such a huge change has happened in their attitudes! LOL
OH…OH… this Blog is becoming a big story…. So I have to stop here. But whenever I get time, I will tell more WRONG, funny, serious & silly things about OUR marriage system, family culture & society! Till then bye & have a great weekend. ONE LAST THING – I am feeling very sad to inform you all that I am not doing ART SUNDAYS till my broadband connection starts! OH YES, I AM SORRY FOR THIS BLOG, IF ANYBODY GETS HURT BY THIS… I swear I don’t have any intention to do this!!! I just want to discuss this and if possible to help those who needed to think twice about this issue in their life to take right decisions. Because as per my opinion, neither marriage nor divorce is the matter between only hubby & wife! It does affect their kids the most and in future society too in the form of future generations! THANKS FOR READING SUCH A BORING BLOG! (saying this by hoping that I will get one reader at least for this blog LOLOL.)
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