Entry for September 22, 2006

Silly OR Funny Quotes CHALLENGE

 

I LOVE QUOTES.... To read, to collect, & to quote myself... But today I am posting here few silly quotes WHICH ARE NOT MINE.... so read them and enjoy.... Tell me which quote do you like most & why ?  plus DO post your OWN FUNNY OR SILLY QUOTE, post it in comment below...( one person can write minimum one & maximum 5 quotes...! ) I will collect all and post a blog of it in my way ......

Silly quotes :--

• Treat me like an angel and I'll be your lil' devil.
  
• Crazy is a relative term in my family!
  
• Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
  
• Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
  
• Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
  
• Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
  
• Boys make good pets!
  
• Princess in training!
  
• At least I can still smoke in my car
  
• Caution, Blind Man Driving.
  
• Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.
  
• All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!
  
• To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail.-Michael Jordan
  
• No BLOOD no foul.
  
• Life's an Ocean, Sail It
  
• We are going to rip off your testicles.......and slash your tires. - Nip
  
• Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!
  
• I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  
• Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
  
• Half the people you know are below average.
  
• Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!
  
• 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  
• The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
  
• All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
  
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  
• Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  
• I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
  
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  
• My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
  
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  
• A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
  
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  
• The problem with the Gene pool is there arn't any lifeguards (hillbillies)
  
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  
• The only reason I am always listening to music is to drownd out the sound of your voice!~
  
• Drive carefully, 90% of people are accidents.
  
• Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming.
  
• Don't drink and drive you might spill your beer
  
• If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough
  
• Love is like a rose in winter, only the strong survive
  
• Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
  
• I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.
  
• Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road.
  
• I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because everytime i fall in love.....it never seems to last
  
• Silence is silver, but music is gold...
  
• Lifes Tough, get a helmet!
  
• loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty!
  
• I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
  
• Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
  
• If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
  
• The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
  
• So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
  
• Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
  
• If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
  
• Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
  
• Illiterate? Write For Help
  
• Honk If Anything Falls Off.
  
• Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
  
• He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit.
  
• You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
  
• I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
  
• Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
  
• Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph.
  
• Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
  
• If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
  
• Ax Me About Ebonics.
  
• Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
  
• Boldly Going Nowhere.
  
• Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
  
• Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
  
• How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
  
• GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A BLONDE.
  
• All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
  
• POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON
  
• I'm not tailgating, i'm keeping up with the pace car
  
• Roadhead cures Roadrage...
  
• Tell your girlfriend I said thanks
  
• WARNING: in case of rapture, this car will be driverless. 
  
• Normal people worry me
  
• you say physco like it's a bad thing
  
• those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do
  
• This delinquent is having sex with your honor student.
  
• Save the environment...plant a Bush back in Texas.
  
• Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don't let anyone take it away from you ever. ~ Holly Marie Combs
  
• Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught
  
• None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all
  
• My tears for you are like dark chocolate- bitter sweet and probably no good for me.
  
• It takes a player to shoot a shot.. but it takes a team to win a game  - Penny Anae
  
• Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE
  
• Anger is one letter short of danger.
  
• One death is one too many.
  
• Life's not all bad. Look into somebody's eyes, you'll see that they're a person just like you, they also have good and bad feelings, hopes and dreams.
  
• If you love somebody, they shouldn't make you cry, they should be worth crying over.
  
• Lots of things change...lots of them don't...but the fact that I love you...that will always stay the same.
  
• I'm going to live life or die trying
  
• I'm sugar and spice and everything nice if u wanna mess with me u better think twice
  
• We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.
  
• We didn’t lose.....we just ran out of time 
  
• Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.
  
• You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial.--Homer J. Simpson
  
• If you die, I'll kill you!
  
• There are some days when I just don't feel like talking.. Today is that day.
  
• Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.
  
• The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
  
• Find a guy that adores you and not one that you adore!!
  
• Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
  
• Trust your instincts and listen to your friends, because they may be right when you don't want them to be
  
• Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!
  
• Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady.  But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.
  
• They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
  
• When you pee in a toilet, you wipe the seat; when you pee in the woods, you wipe your feet!
  
• Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.
  
• Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.
  
• Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information.
  
• You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. - Homer J. Simpson.
  
• Is tuna really Chicken?" - Jessica Simpson, after reading "Tuna, Chicken of the sea
  
• I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down.
  
• Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!
  
• Roses are red, violets are blue, please flush the toilet, after you.
  
• Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle.
  
• I'll kill you until you die!!
  
• They misunderestimated me! -George W. Bush
  
• I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to!
  
• Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
  
• I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose
  
• The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus
  
• I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose
  
• Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it.
  
• I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states
  
• A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation
  
• It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!
  
• I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight
  
• If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!! 
  
• There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.
  
• If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie! 
  
• Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome
  
• The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast! 
  
• Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
  
• Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them
  
• Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass
  
• I love him, O yes I do,
  
  He's for me, not for you,
  
  And if by chance you take my place,
  
  I'll take my fist and smash your face!
  
• God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!
  
• Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!
  
• For you are crunchy
  
  And taste good with ketchup
  
• Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
  
• Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died
  
• Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
  
• Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died
  
• Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
  
• It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and
  
  say bite me in a bitchy tone!
  
• Every morning is the dawn of a new error
  
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
  
• Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS
  
• I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
  
• Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay
  
• Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either
  
• Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved
  
• Dain bramaged
  
• Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster
  
• Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
  
• Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
  
• Beware of programmers who carry screwdriver
  
• OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
  
• A repair shop:
  
  WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
  
• A Laundromat: (SANDY SPECIAL )
  
  PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHING WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT