HONESTY... LOL
I am 64% brutally honest as per blogthings... But I think below are more honest than me? hahahaha check out yourself ...
REASONS OF DEATH
Three men were in heaven discussing how they died.
The first man said, "I died of cancer."
The second man said, "I died of Tuberculosis."
The third man said, "I died of seenus."
The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?"
The third man said, "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best
friend's wife and he seen us!"
The first man said, "I died of cancer."
The second man said, "I died of Tuberculosis."
The third man said, "I died of seenus."
The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?"
The third man said, "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best
friend's wife and he seen us!"
Why Divroce?
A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle
of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied.
"I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't
communicate with me."
A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle
of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied.
"I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't
communicate with me."
FIRST JOB
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into
the personnel director's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied
for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we
discovered this is the first job you've ever held."
"Well," the young man replied "in your advertisement you said you
wanted somebody with imagination."
the personnel director's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied
for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we
discovered this is the first job you've ever held."
"Well," the young man replied "in your advertisement you said you
wanted somebody with imagination."
CONFESSION
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me father, for I
have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest says, "Is that you Tommy?"
"Yes father, it is I."
"Who was the woman you were with?"
"I cannot tell you... for I do not wish to sully her reputation."
The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"No, father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No, father."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No, father, I cannot tell you."
The priest says I admire your perseverance but you must atone for
your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys.
Tommy goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and
asks, "What happened?"
Tommy replies, "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three
good leads."
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me father, for I
have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest says, "Is that you Tommy?"
"Yes father, it is I."
"Who was the woman you were with?"
"I cannot tell you... for I do not wish to sully her reputation."
The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"No, father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No, father."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No, father, I cannot tell you."
The priest says I admire your perseverance but you must atone for
your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys.
Tommy goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and
asks, "What happened?"
Tommy replies, "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three
good leads."
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